A whole bunch of crap.

If the word crap offends you, you might want to get the heck out of here, because there is going to be a whole lot of crap on your screen for the next few minutes.

I need to get this nonsense out in the open, because it’s exasperating. So, this might not be pretty, but it will be therapeutic, especially for those of you who’ve had to deal with crap just like this.

There are people, ah correction, businesses, who are lying, cheating and ultimately selling crap. Those repulsive salesmen are giving a bad name to the industry that feeds my family.

At first, when I heard these horror stories from other business owners, I wanted to stand on a soap box, wag my finger and scream, “Knock that crap off.”

Now, with every story I hear, I think and say, “Go ahead, just keep that crap up.” Because they’re creating one hell of a sweet clean-up for an honest company like mine.

Okay, so that’s selfish. Even though these cheats and liars inadvertently generate business for me, they’re still bottom-feeders who pose as business people and prey on those who have no idea what they don’t know.

You’ve heard the horror stories…

  • “My web designer took the money for my project and left town.”
  • “They never did what they said they would.”
  • “The project never finished.”
  • “It didn’t work.”
  • “They never answer the phone.”
  • It takes us 2 months to get something done that should take 2 minutes.”
  • “They sold me something I didn’t need and kept charging me to finish it.”

So here’s what really happened.

They lied. Because they’re just out to make a buck and they’re using you to feed their bank account. They have no freaking clue how to build a website and you have no way of knowing it. Or do you? Did you do your homework, or just get blown away by the dog and pony show?

Okay, so they made you a victim. That sucks, and quite honestly, it just irks me that you were taken advantage of. Companies like this give honest businesses like mine a bad rep. My prospects come in with a chip on their shoulder and about 3 years worth of pissed off brewing and ready to pop.

When I approach a challenge (and believe me, to those business owners who’ve been taken for a ride, this crap show definitely qualifies) I start by identifying all of the problems, look for common sources, and then think of solutions for those problems.

So here’s the problem:

You don’t know what you don’t know.

Undercover Crap Rescue #1:

Slick git with the cutie pie sidekick who laughs at all the right times, smiles and uses your name a lot, talks about his wife and kids, puts on a big show and makes you feel important. And that pretty smelling cologne he wears and the fancy car he drives are all just camouflage to cover up the crap show of a counterfeit business he’s running.  But what you don’t know is that HE’S FULL OF CRAP.

Undercover Crap Rescue #2:

This gal seems a little young, but she’s clean cut and young people know everything about everything that goes down online. She’s got a good looking website, and the price is right. This youngster doesn’t even know she’s full of crap. But what you don’t know, is you’re not her only interview today. She’s actually all dressed up with a fresh haircut to meet with another company; the one just up the street with the huge parking lot and the in-house marketing team. The thing is, they’re not going to hire their new web development employee for 3-6 more weeks. Of course, that will be after she takes your money and before she delivers the product. She has all of the best intentions to finish, but the job is more demanding than she thought and she already used the money you gave her to pay the rent. Before it’s all said and done, it’s just one more big crap fest.

Here’s what we’re going to do.

I’ll listen. I’ll even be wrathful with you. I might even consider TPing their business sign.

Then after that, we’re going to build this relationship based on trust from the friggin’ ground up. We’ll do what we say we’ll do, deliver what we way when we say it, and in the end you will never want to work with anyone else ever again.

When those liar, college grads come into your office trying to sell you crap, you won’t even have flashbacks. You’ll call me and we’ll have a good laugh.

And do you know why? Because we appreciate you. We know, understand and experience the importance to feed your family and your employees’ families. And we’re not going to let some intern cut their teeth on your website, buy a cheap template and pass it off as original, then disappear off the planet because they were offered a full-time job, or employ a fleet of freelancers because we can’t afford the overhead of a decent design staff who also appreciates you.

We’re not going to send someone who knows diddly-squat about business and even less about building a website to sell you something just because they need to meet their sales quota to make a buck.

And we’re NOT going to do these things because we actually care. We do this to feed our families, and when you’re our client, you’re family. We know we’re doing this to feed yours too.

So, if I lie to you about what we can and can’t or won’t do, I’m lying to family. And people who do that are worthless. And since we aren’t like the others, you don’t have to worry about us feeding it to you. It’s about as simple and as complicated as that.

We’re not going to talk down to you, because you don’t build websites for a living. We’re going to honor your goals, and you’re going to listen to our opinions, because we do that with you.

Some days, we will both marvel at the complete and utter awesomeness the other builds, and just plain respect the crap out of one another.

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